Of eggs, birds & boxer shorts

ME, STARZAN By Joey de Leon

I don’t know with you, especially those “PAPER view” soothsayers (mga pumapapel manghuhula), but the last line in my last Sunday’s article was, “... PACQUIAO-WIN n’yo na!”

Anyway, if there’s anyone really very happy and celebrating Pacquiao’s victory over De la Hoya last week, it would be Karylle. Here’s a short story.

“TKO (The Karylle Ordeal)”

Alam n’yo naman ang ugali ng ilang Pinoy, naghahanap ng masisisi kapag natalo. At kung nagkataong nagwagi si De la HOPYA kay NILUPAK-QUIAO, nakuputo-bumbong! Siguradong may ilang pagdidiskitahan si Karylle. At ang mas matindi pa, posibleng isang avid fan ni Marian Rivera ang magsasabing, “Ayan kasi, sana si Marian na lang ang pinasayaw ng National Anthem!” Ngak!

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The Golden Boy must have lost the fight to Manny Pacquiao, pero s’ya naman ang PUMAKYAW ng MONEY! Ngek!

Do you know that they both have 13 letters in their names? Both lucky. Both winners. Both richer.

This writer tried to jumble the letters of El Nino de Oro’s nombre to look for “hidden meanings and codes.” Guess what I came up with? CAHA O’ DOLYARES! Ngik! Ngok! Nguk!

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And now, from Eat, Bulaga!’s FAULT VAULT or CAHA DE ERROR, here are more of those “pleasant palpaks” in the Q & A portion of Itaktak Mo O Tatakbo:

HOST: Anong “U” ang kukumpleto sa sawikaing ito:

“Pagputi ng ___(blank)___, pag-itim ng tagak.”?

CONTESTANT: UBAN?

(Inuuban ba ang ibon?)

* * *

HOST: Anong “B” ang kukumpleto sa mga linyang ito na madalas sinasabi sa mga Superman movies? “It’s a ____(blank)___! It’s a plane! It’s Superman!”

CONTESTANT: BAT?

(Of course, BIRD ‘yung kay Superman. Eh si Batman din naman may bird eh — ROBIN pa nga eh!)

* * *

HOST: Ang linyang: “Para kang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain... ” ay mula sa pelikula ni Vilma Santos na Palimos Ng ____(blank)___.” Anong “P” ang kukumpleto sa title nito?

CONTESTANT: Ahhh... “Palimos... Ng... PERA?”

(Palimos ng konting pasensya sa mga readers natin.)

* * *

This one happened last Oct. 26 within the portion of our Brazilian girl Daiana Menezes, wherein she cracks a joke before she asks the second round contestants to choose from the red and blue cards to determine whether they would be entitled to get help from their two dabarkads or not. Her joke that day was the two-question bit and it was supposed to simply run as, “Ano sa English ang isda?” And it would be followed by, “Ano naman sa English ang maraming isda?” The answer to the first one is of course “fish,” and for the second one, which is also the punchline, is “fish pond!” But something happened along the way. On the first question, the contestant gave her not the expected answer of “fish” — kumbaga, nasira ang punchline ni Daiana; s’ya at kami ang na-punchline. The contestant’s answer to the first question drowned everybody to the floor. The contestant’s reply was, “FISHDA!” Very funny.

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HOST: Anong “S” na pangalan ng isang pusa ang first name din ng isang Hollywood actor na Stallone ang apelyido at gumanap bilang Rocky at Rambo?

CONTESTANT: SNOOPY!